For the past several years I have been very focused (God would say obsessed!) on the dreams living in my heart...things that I am waiting on Him to bring about in my life. Often, these dreams have consumed my every waking moment making it difficult to accomplish anything else. This season has been such a faith journey for me. He still hasn't answered, but I'm realizing that there is more to His method of madness than what my human-surface understanding can see. I am realizing that He has so much more to teach me and give to me than what my little heart-dreams are obsessed about. I believe He will give me my heart-dreams, but I'm getting a clue that it will not be until I am transformed to recognize that His plans are bigger than mine and it's time to get on board with His agenda for my life, rather than remaining limited to my own imagination. He's way more extravagant and creative than I have capability for!
Do you ever feel like your life is bigger and more important than what you think? That there are relationships, situations and circumstances just around the corner outside of your design for yourself that will bring such favor, blessing and significance beyond anything you considered God would do in your life? I feel on the edge of my seat and in awe of God. The Father has a unique place for each of us in His heart and a unique role of greatness in His Kingdom.
His place for me is over my head, outside of my capabilities. There is no ability I have that He can't do better and more rightly. So...why bother? Why doesn't He just accomplish His purposes by Himself? Why does He mess with my mess?
I can remember when I was little I loved to help my dad wash the cars. It made me feel like I was big stuff to grab a sponge bigger than my head and attempt to help him do this. I felt really good about my contribution to his job. In reality, what I accomplished doing was to make a bigger mess...dumping buckets, tracking muddy feet inside the car, dragging the towels along the ground while trying to dry the bumper, etc. My dad could have done a WAY more efficient job if I wasn't present and active in his life at that point! But, he always asked me to do this with him rather than exclude me.
Jesus had to learn the Father's steps, too. Hebrews 5:8 says that Jesus learned obedience through what He suffered. If the Son of God had to learn the Father's moves and submit to them, how much more do I have to learn? I must stay in step with the Father before I am to be handed to the Bridegroom. My life is a gift to be spent fulfilling His desires. I get to spend every breathing moment in His dreams, making Him win...as if He needed me to do that! My life is a gift and the gift is far more great than I've ever anticipated. It's going to be worth the time spent learning obedience through suffering and submission. It's going to be worth it. In the meantime, I'll keep dancing on His feet.