I was spending some time in the book of Hebrews last week and stumbled across a verse that has been wonderfully haunting since.
Nothing in all creation is hidden from the sight of God, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give an account. Hebrews 4:13
Verses like these make me want to run and cringe sometimes...or, all the time! God sees everything. He knows everything. All those thoughts and behaviors that I work so hard to keep hidden from view HE is taking them in. His eyes are fixed on me. Where are my fig leaves???
As I was reading this verse and whimpering time stood still as I heard Him say, "Hol, aren't you glad that I AM the God that has this ability?" In a moment a verse, a truth that brought upon the fear of the Lord was now superceded by the love of God. I'm not saying that the fear of God was gone. However, in a moment the realization of His love became so much bigger than my fear of Him. What if we served a god who had no love in his heart for us and who could see everything about us? There would be no grace, no mercy, no compassion, no forgiveness, no rescue. Unbelievers in Jesus Christ live in this reality. Thank You, God, for being who You are. Thank You, God, for being the One who rescued me. Thank You, God, that you see me completely exposed before You and You still want me. It's beautiful. It's humbling. It's the kind of God I need. His ability to see everything about me, the good and the sin, coupled with His great love makes Him safe. Come in, Father, and see my sin because I know that in Your love, You will remove it for my good and You will not leave me as I am. You are good.
I believe that having reverance, fear and awe of God is vital to our relationship with Him. Scripture says that it is the beginning of all wisdom. However, fear should never keep us from His love. I think often we can spend much of our time trying to DO the right thing out of fear that God won't accept us otherwise. This is backwards. It is His love that propels us to do anything. We stand accepted. We don't have to fight for this position. He is captivated by us. He has given everything to have us. In a true love relationship, you DO things for a person because you love pleasing them and because you know they love you. Why do we treat God any differently, worrying about His thoughts towards us? Today is my Sabbath. I plan on spending it entering the rest of His love for me.